Whether you agree or disagree with Mitt Romney doesn’t matter to me. You’ll find I don’t care to write about politics.
I do, however, want to talk about the “Victim Mentality” choice. You have heard my thoughts on the importance of coming from a position of power before, and it ties directly to this topic.
A person who accepts the role of a victim surrenders to an impotence that stunts their growth. A victim mentality renders a person powerless over where they hope to go. In essence, if I had no control over what got me here, then I have no control in overcoming my circumstances. The truth is that we have ALL of the control and sometimes don’t want to take initiative to better perfect our situation. It is no doubt easier to blame someone or something else for our circumstances than to stiffen our spine and courageously and responsibly map out our successful future.
Have you ever noticed that some of your friends come to you for advice, because they know you are going to tell them what they want to hear? Are you one of those people to whom friends come, because they want to hear the truth as you see it? It has been my experience that victims tend to gravitate toward those that tell them what they want to hear. The truth is uncomfortable, and it might suggest that they leave their victim state and empower themselves to make better choices.
Here’s a story for you:
Evelyn is overweight. She has been overweight for most of her adult life. She doesn’t *want* to be heavy, but she just can’t seem to break the cycle that keeps her in a place where she is self conscious and uncomfortable. Evelyn often talks to certain of her friends about how sad her weight makes her, and they often nod their heads and commiserate with her about how difficult it can be to get diet and weight under control.
Evelyn has a relatively new friend that she met at work named Donna. She and Donna have developed a trust relationship and are growing their friendship daily. Predictably, Evelyn brings her being overweight into the conversation one evening and laments how she is never able to get it under control. Tactfully, Donna suggests that some of Evelyn’s habits are derailing any hope she has of losing weight and living a healthier lifestyle. “I’ve tried that,” complains Evelyn. Donna moves on in the conversation to point out very clearly what she has witnessed in Evelyn’s lifestyle that is directly contributing to her obesity. These choices, every time she makes them, define what her outcomes are going to be, and those outcomes include the feelings of being a victim.
Evelyn is shocked at Donna’s candor, but she can’t help but own the specific examples that Donna presented to her. Donna doesn’t just walk Evelyn off the plank to watch her drown in her indictments. Donna volunteers to help Evelyn plan a food journal, develop an exercise program, and offers to serve as an accountability partner to Evelyn through the process of developing new habits.
Today, Evelyn has lost a tremendous amount of weight and is healthier than she can remember being in her adult life. The confidence that she has earned by making better choices and enriching her life have given her a sense of empowerment that she has never had before. Good choices lead to good choices, and Evelyn is seeing that play out in several areas of her life, career, and family. Evelyn has truly turned the corner from Victim to Achiever.
In a society that flourishes on fear, it is easy to succumb to the role of Victim. My challenge to you today is that you say goodbye to that Victim and leave him/her in your past. Your achievement starts now. I’d love to hear about your changes and results. After all, Tomorrow Begins Today!